Merriam-Webster‘s dictionary provides 3 definitions of irony:

1. a pretense of ignorance and of willingness to learn from another assumed in order to make the other’s false conceptions conspicuous by adroit questioning —called also Socratic irony
2. a: the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning b: a usually humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony c: an ironic expression or utterance
3. a (1): incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2): an event or result marked by such incongruity b: incongruity between a situation developed in a drama and the accompanying words or actions that is understood by the audience but not by the characters in the play —called also dramatic irony or tragic irony

This third usage is what seems to cause a problem.  Ironic does not mean unlucky, unfortunate, or inconsistent.  Ironic does not describe mere unfortunate coincidences or surprising disappointments that “suggest no particular lessons about human vanity or folly.”

There are 3 modern classifications of irony: verbal, dramatic and situational.

1. Verbal irony, when a speaker says one thing but means another or when a literal meaning is contrary to its intended effect as in sarcasm.
2. Dramatic irony, when the action of a speaker or character has a meaning that the audience understands, but the speaker or character does not.
3. Situational irony, when there is a difference between intention and result.

Some argue that situational irony is not irony at all.

So what are some examples of irony?

• Verbal irony:  as hard as putty or as funny as cancer
• Dramatic irony: In the William Shakespeare play Romeo and Juliet, when Romeo finds Juliet in a drugged death-like sleep, he assumes her to be dead and kills himself. Upon awakening to find her dead lover beside her, Juliet kills herself with his dagger.
• Situational irony: When John Hinckley attempted to assassinate President Ronald Reagan, all of his shots initially missed the President; however a bullet ricocheted off the bullet-proof Presidential limousine and struck Reagan in the chest. Thus, a vehicle made to protect the President from gunfire was partially responsible for his being shot.

(examples via Wikipedia)

A perfect example of the misuse of the word ironic is Alanis Morissette’s song Ironic. The fact that this song misuses the word ironic in each of its uses, is itself ironic.

Example 1:

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day

The song asks isn’t it ironic? The answer is, “No.” It is unlucky. If the man died from inhalation of the dust from scratching years of lottery tickets, that would be ironic.

Example 2:

It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay

The song asks isn’t it ironic? The answer is, “No.” If the fly ended up in the wine because the drinkers had just sprayed bug spray, that would be ironic.

Example 3:

It’s like rain on your wedding day

The song asks isn’t it ironic? The answer is, “No.” If the bride happened to be the editor of the Farmers Almanac’s weather predictions, that would be ironic.

The fact that I really like Morissette’s song even after being bothered for almost two decades by its non-irony, that too is ironic. The fact that my wife hates that I say that “rain on your wedding day” is not ironic every time I hear the word irony, that is not ironic. It is annoying, well at least that is what my wife says.

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